Interviewing: Who Chooses Whom? And How We Can Do It Better
As someone who has conducted hundreds of interviews over the course of my career, I’ve often approached the process with a focus on the "what"—skills, experience, and qualifications. But lately, I’ve been thinking more about the "why." Why is the candidate interested in this job? Why is the employer seeking someone new for this role? And more importantly, how can understanding these deeper questions help us make better, more empathetic hiring decisions?
The traditional interview process follows a predictable script. Candidates arrive, prepped to perfection—résumé polished, outfit chosen to impress, answers rehearsed. The employer is equally prepared, with questions lined up, a structured interview plan in place, and a system to evaluate and rate each candidate. Both parties are presenting their best selves, but in this highly choreographed setting, something crucial may be missing: the authentic "why" behind both sides. Why does the candidate really want the job? Why is the company really hiring?
Too often, this polished, rehearsed exchange can prevent both parties from understanding what truly matters. Rather than focusing on how to perform well, perhaps both candidates and employers could focus on how to reveal their core needs and objectives.
Rethinking the Interview Process
Consider a different approach. What if we removed all the preparation and pretense? No polished résumés, no rehearsed answers, no pre-designed questions. Instead, what if the candidate showed up and simply observed the team they might be working with, while the employer allowed the candidate to see the workplace in its natural state—without a curated presentation of perfection?
Imagine a scenario where a candidate arrives at the office on any given day without an agenda, and instead of focusing on impressing the interviewer, they spend time observing how the team functions in real-time. They aren’t in a controlled environment with neatly packaged narratives from leadership. Instead, they’re witnessing the true culture and dynamics of the workplace. In this unscripted engagement, both the candidate and the employer have the chance to see the reality, rather than the polished version.
This shift in approach could lead to much deeper understanding. The candidate gains an authentic view of how the team operates and whether they could thrive in that environment. Meanwhile, the employer observes how the candidate reacts to real-world situations, without the filter of rehearsed answers. The interaction becomes less about performance and more about discovering whether there’s a true connection.
A New Way for Candidates to Engage
For candidates, entering this kind of process is an opportunity to focus less on selling themselves and more on learning about the company. The key here is observation. Instead of rehearsing responses, candidates should engage with the team and ask questions that help them understand the reality of the workplace. They should take note of the mood, the challenges, and the team dynamics. By seeing how things truly operate, they can better determine whether the job fits their personal and professional goals. This type of observation equips candidates with meaningful insights they can use when they engage with the employer.
Creating a Transparent Workplace for Employers
On the employer’s side, a great way to break free from the scripted interview process is to invite candidates into the everyday workings of the team. After an initial conversation, employers can offer candidates the opportunity to spend a few hours or a day shadowing the team. Rather than controlling the environment to impress, the company can allow the candidate to see what a typical day looks like, including any challenges or inefficiencies. This transparency not only gives the candidate an unfiltered look into the role, but it also lets the employer see how the candidate interacts with the team. Are they asking questions? Are they eager to understand the dynamics? How do they handle uncertainty?
When candidates are exposed to the actual work environment, they get a more accurate sense of whether they’ll be a good fit. Similarly, employers see how the candidate engages with real-world situations and whether their attitude aligns with the culture and the needs of the team.
The Power of Open-Ended Questions
A major shift that could help foster this more authentic approach is how both sides engage in the conversation. Instead of focusing on prepared, transactional questions, candidates can take the opportunity to ask open-ended questions about the company’s challenges and culture. Questions like "What is your team currently struggling with?" or "How do you handle conflict within the organization?" invite deeper conversations. These types of questions not only reveal more about the company’s actual state, but they also signal that the candidate is genuinely interested in contributing to solutions, rather than simply filling a position.
Likewise, employers benefit from answering these questions honestly. Instead of presenting a picture-perfect version of the company, they can embrace transparency and openly share the challenges they face. This honesty can help attract candidates who are not only qualified but are motivated to address the real needs of the company.
A Focus on Culture Over Skills
In this new approach, culture fit becomes the top priority. While experience and skills are essential, they’re not the only factors that contribute to long-term success. Both the candidate and the employer should take the time to assess whether their values and work styles align. For candidates, this means paying attention to the company’s approach to collaboration, leadership, and problem-solving. For employers, it means asking whether the candidate’s motivations and energy align with the organization’s culture.
By focusing more on how the candidate will fit into the team and less on ticking off qualifications, both sides can make decisions that lead to stronger, more meaningful partnerships.
Empathy as the Driving Force
Bringing empathy into the hiring process is what allows this shift to happen. Employers who approach hiring with empathy focus less on whether the candidate can meet the immediate demands of the job and more on whether the candidate’s "why" aligns with the company’s long-term vision. Similarly, candidates who are empathetic toward the company’s challenges are more likely to approach the role with a desire to contribute to its growth, not just advance their own careers.
This mutual empathy—rooted in understanding both sides' deeper motivations—leads to a hiring process that is far more authentic and ultimately more successful. Instead of two parties performing for each other, both sides can focus on what truly matters: whether this is a relationship that can grow and succeed over time.
In the end, the process of interviewing isn’t just about companies choosing candidates, or candidates choosing companies. It’s about creating an opportunity for both sides to reveal their true selves and decide whether they want to move forward together. When we approach interviews with authenticity and empathy, we set the foundation for a partnership that benefits everyone involved.
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